


Shadow Tactician

by Fictionbookworm



Series: Natural Disasters in (Occasionally) Human Form [4]
Category: Naruto, One Piece
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Family, Humor, Kidnapping, One Shot, Reincarnation, Transmigration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26880676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionbookworm/pseuds/Fictionbookworm
Summary: The Gods are cruel, cruel creatures to make him suffer so. He was supposed be to enjoying a nice, quiet afterlife with his wife at this very moment, not playing pirate in another world with the rest of the Konoha Twelve, plus Sai, instead. And what do you mean, they weren’t alone?
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Sai/Yamanaka Ino
Series: Natural Disasters in (Occasionally) Human Form [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658020
Comments: 11
Kudos: 87





	Shadow Tactician

“From now on, we’ll be known as the Whirlpool pirates!” Naruto declares grandly with his hands spread out in triumph as they watch their new flag – a standard skull and crossbones with a red swirl reminiscent of Uzushio’s symbol on its forehead – raise on the highest mast of their new ship.

Shikamaru, standing a few steps behind the still, and likely forever, orange-clad blond sighs heavily around his cigarette. Life had been so nice before the rest of his friends had tracked him down on his island. It had been calm and trouble-free, and he could spend days on end doing nothing but cloud watching and napping whenever he pleased.

They didn’t even give him a choice! Just kidnapped him right off the street in broad daylight. Not that he would have refused had they asked – probably anyway – but it was the proper way of recruiting people for their pirate crew. Otherwise, someone might get ideas and try to cough _mutiny_ cough.

He sighs again, heavier. Smoke curls lazily around him. “What a drag.”

* * *

He’s napping in the sunlight when the quiet chatter of a couple of his crewmates brings him out of his light doze.

“What’s new?”

There is a rustle of paper. “A marine scientist defected. Took his assistant and ran.”

“Really? That’s unusual. Does it say why?”

“No. But they did put a bounty on him.” There is another rustle of paper.

“Must have been important then.”

“Oh look, the Ninja pirates got a new member. Name’s Rin, apparently she’s a doctor.”

“Ninja pirates? So that’s why Naruto sulked for a week when Sasuke told him he couldn’t name us that.”

“Yeah, they’ve been active for a while now. Most of the crew are Minks, you know, the giant sentient humanoid animals that are like Summons but not really? They’re pretty friendly with the Whitebeards, too.”

“Wow, their captain is really called Kakashi?”

“What a coincidence, right? I mean, it’s an unusual name.”

Kakashi, captain of the Ninja pirates? Something itches in his brain, but the sunlight is so nice and warm, and his crewmates are retreating to wherever they came from still discussing the newspaper and… an… zzzzz...

* * *

It is in the middle of a fight with another group of pirates that should have outnumbered them if it wasn’t for Naruto’s Devil Fruit abilities that he asks the question that had been plaguing him for a while. Not the best time, he knows, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He _really_ wanted to know the answer.

“Hey, captain.” He calls, and the three closest Narutos turn toward him in unison. “What’s the big plan anyway?”

“What do you mean?” One asks, cocking him head to the side in confusion.

“Well, it’s not like you can be Hokage anymore. You want to be Pirate King now?” He clarifies, nonchalantly ducking under the slow sword swing of his opponent. Amateurs.

Another of Naruto’s clones laughs, smile wide and blinding. “I just thought it’ll be fun!”

He sighs very heavily. Of course. They’ve become wanted criminals because their moron of a former Hokage decided it’ll be fun. Why else?

Neji throws him an understanding look from where he was gracefully poking his own opponent to death – the Gentle Fist worked just as well on pressure points as on the Chakra Pathway System. At least there was _someone_ who understood his pain on this ship of crazies. 

* * *

“I can’t believe we’re on Drum Island!” Sakura laughs delightedly.

“What’s so great about this snowy hole?” Kiba grumbles, snuggling deeper into Akamaru’s fur in search of warmth.

Sakura wiggles in place in excitement. “The Isshi-20 lives here! They are some of the best doctors in the world! Oh, I can’t wait to meet them!”

Thirty minutes later, she’s no longer as thrilled. Instead, she is threateningly cracking her knuckles and hefting her giant battle-ax on her shoulders with no sign of strain despite it having been previously proven that three grown men would have difficulty lifting the damn thing a few inches of the ground. As far as Shikamaru was aware, she was born with her freakish strength in this life. Her and Lee anyway, lucky bastards.

“Don’t worry!” Naruto tells the villagers surrounding their crew. “We’ll make sure Wapol won’t ever come back! Let’s go!”

Shikamaru’s friends start rushing up the mountain yelling battle cries, and he follows slowly after them, passing a long-nosed boy who seemed a little out of place along the way. “Troublesome.”

* * *

Shikamaru is the only one of the Ino-Shika-Chō trio who didn’t get a semblance of his old skills due to a Devil Fruit. As a result, both Ino and Chōji got a little overprotective. Never mind that he was using trench knives now as weapons or that he’d figured out several skills of the Rokushiki, a superhuman martial arts style, from watching for many years a former marine practice on his island. Soru and Kami-e became a staple of his new fighting style, so it would be a wonder if anyone ever managed to wound him.

Neither of his teammates saw it that way. He hadn’t minded at first, but after they push him behind them _yet again_ when their crew gets into a fight with a group of marines, he just… kinda snapped, okay? The poor marines didn’t stand a chance.

And of course, with that one outburst ends his anonymity.

“Cheer up.” Tenten tries to console him. “The bounty isn’t really that high.”

“Yet.” He mumbles into his hands. “Isn’t that high _yet_.”

His dreams of a peaceful life… Gone. Crushed. Scattered to the four winds. He should have jumped overboard when he had the chance and swum back to shore.

* * *

They had just come out of a harsh Grand Line storm which meant one minute it was sunny and the next giant ice balls of death the size of a house were falling from the sky, and their ship was in grave need of repairs. Unfortunately, they didn’t have the necessary materials, and the nearest island was a deserted desert full of nothing but sand.

“We can’t turn around,” Sakura argued. “Without giving time for the Log Pose to reset properly, we’ll get lost and most certainly die before we find another island.”

“We can’t continue on either, Forehead.” Ino reasoned back. “It takes three weeks for the Log Pose to reset on that island, and most of our supplies were washed overboard.”

It was such a pain, Shikamaru complains to himself in the safety of his mind. Why couldn’t this world be normal and work according to the rules of science? Physics. He missed basic physics.

“I have an Eternal Pose,” Sakura claims tentatively. “The island shouldn’t be far from here.” 

“Why didn’t you say so earlier, Sakura-chan?!” Exclaims Naruto.

“Because it’s kind of safe haven for wanted criminals that are actually good guys like the revolutionaries and escaped slaves? And the leaders are trying to keep the place hidden from the Government, so they ask everyone in the know not to go there without a really good reason?” Sakura explains hesitantly.

“We’re good guys, aren’t we?” Kiba says. “We did kick the ass of that one corrupt king.”

“How do you even know about that place?” Sasuke asks his girlfriend? Wife?

Shikamaru pauses, biting on his cigarette thoughtfully. If he meets Temari in this life, would she still be his wife, or does marriage in another world not count?

“It doesn’t matter how I know,” Sakura stresses meanwhile. “It’s just… I should warn you that...”

“Spit it out, Forehead.”

“It was created by Lord First!” Finally rushes out of the pinkette’s mouth.

A beat. “WHAT?!”

“And Lord Second!”

“WHAT?!”

* * *

“Don’t worry. We’ll drop you off at the next island.” Shikamaru tells the trembling wedding official and receives an unbelieving stare in response.

Fair enough, he _had_ been kidnapped in broad daylight in full view of his family by a group of notorious pirates. Yes, he was still salty, what gave it away?

For the record, he’d been against all of this. But Hinata wanted her marriage officially acknowledged, and whatever wish she had, Neji did his damn hardest to fulfill, hence the hastily thrown wedding on their ship and the abducted man.

“Don’t… be… staring at... people!”

There is a large crash, and one of the masts topples over.

The ceremony had been beautiful, the blushing bride even more so. Booze had flown freely.

Perhaps a little _too_ freely, Shikamaru musses calmly.

Sai goes flying by and crashes into the sea. Sasuke goes diving after him. Devil Fruit users always so high maintenance.

“Hiya!” Another mast is smashed to pieces with a single unstable kick.

Why is the wedding official looking at him like he’d grown a second head? Everything is fine. He’s got everything under control. He’s fine. They’re fine. The ship’s fine. Lee is definitely not drunk. Nopety, nope.

* * *

“Huh,” Naruto says eloquently one day, holding several bounties in his hands.

“What is it?” Shikamaru yawns.

“You ever heard of the Ōtsutsuki pirates?”

“Like the Sage of Six Paths and Kaguya?” He frowns and sits up, feeling more awake than seconds ago. “With horns and Byakugans and all that?”

“Almost.” Naruto grins, spreading out nine bounties between them. “We now know the Senju are around, so why didn’t we think others could be here too?”

Shikamaru picks one of the papers up, peering at the newly raised price for the head of an _Ōtsutsuki ‘Firestorm’ Kurama_. His face was covered by a fox mask remarkably similar to what an ANBU would wear, and the hovering long red hair was split into nine strands which reminded him heavily of tails.

With a curse, he picks up another bounty, glances at the grinning face of a primate mask, and curses harder. _Ōtsutsuki ‘Monkey King’ Son Gokū._

“It does explain Sasuke’s fixation with people who have Uchiha names,” Shikamaru grumbles once he ran out of swear words. A horrible thought strikes him. “Naruto, do you think Madara? And Akatsuki?”

* * *

“Pirates took over this peaceful but poor island! Now, they are demanding tribute like kings!” Naruto yells.

“Bastards!” Kiba and Lee agree loudly.

“The women have all been taken to their ship and kept captive! Who knows how they are treated there!” Naruto continues.

“Oh, we know.” Grumbles Ino angrily.

“Hear, hear,” Tenten says already pulling out her multitude of weapons from storage. A sword, dozens of various types of knives, staffs, guns… Gradually, she turns herself into a walking armory.

“Are we going to stand for that?” Naruto calls down to them from the kitchen table he was posing on.

“No!”

“Are we going to let those people suffer? Let them wait for the marines to get off their asses?”

“NO!”

“So, what are we waiting for? Let’s teach them a lesson!”

“YEAH!”

He’s not dealing with this shit anymore. Have somebody else do it. Shikamaru turns over to lie on his other side and goes right back to sleep.

* * *

“Minato!” His wife yells, dashing into the room with the force of a tornado. She eagerly thrusts a newspaper into his face. “Look! Look!”

Obligingly he takes it, setting his book aside for a moment.

PIRATES CRASH CELESTIAL DRAGON’S PARTY proclaimed the headlines of the very first page, and he smiles proudly at the accompanying image of his son. It seemed like he was doing well.

(He ignores the longsuffering visage of Shikaku’s son in the background with the ease he had developed from a lifetime or two of dealing with Naras.)

_Under the command of Uzumaki ‘One Man Army’ Naruto and his First Mate Nara ‘Shadow Tactician’ Shikamaru, the Whirlpool pirates consisting of wanted criminals Haruno ‘the Ogre’ Sakura, Uchiha ‘Lightning Blade’ Sasuke, Inuzuka ‘the Savage’ Kiba, Hyūga ‘Moon-eyed Twins’ Neji and Hinata, Aburame ‘Insect King’ Shino, Yamanaka ‘Mind Reader’ Ino, Akimichi ‘the Giant’ Chōji, “Arsenal’ Tenten, Rock ‘Drunken Beast’ Lee and ‘the Canvas’ Sai interrupt the Celestial Dragon’s birthday celebration –_

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Naruto or One Piece.


End file.
